Short and Sweet, Just Like Me!

so the reason why i havent been religiously posting like i usually do is that i am at the family lake cabin for the weekend. no wifi, just an old fashioned verizon internet thinger. but this year the lake is miserable.

i am sick. yes, sick. this f-ing sucks. today was the day i would finally stand up on the wakeboard! but noooo. i have to have this stupid viral infection that got passed down to me by *a'hem* that one person. so right now i am sitting inside, watching the family clean weeds, im sort of happy. but i wanna be out there in the water but god forbid, if i catch something from a killer fish or whatever.

but i did get to do one exciting thing. blow up this massive raft. im excited to say that i am allowed to go on said raft. yippee.

so the moral of the story is to not go to the lake when sick. or just dont go anywhere for that matter.

Pro-Ana? No, Anti-Ana.

ok so before i even go into this I'm just going to say that i have no problem with pro-Ana people. I'm not hating on you guys or anything. this is just solely my opinion and i just hope you get the help you need.

there are two types of anorexics.

1. people who do it just for attention. these are the people who don't necessarily need to starve themselves, they just do it so others will notice and take pity/notice them. sometimes these people already get attention, but they just want more, and nothing is more serious and attention getting then being obvious about going to the bathroom after each meal or declaring loudly that they haven't eaten that day.
2. people who really need help. these are the people that have troubled home lives, are depressed, or have been bullied to the point. I've heard too many stories of girls killing themselves over what other little snobs have said. nobody should be pushed to that point. and the bullies are nothing more than murderers who shouldn't be allowed out in public. these are the ones that keep it a secret and don't tell anyone. usually the quiet ones who don't go fishing for complements.

I am not for anorexia in any way, shape, or form. I'm kind of cocky. i think i look amazing, and i don't let anyone tell me otherwise. if i let people get to me then it just brings me down and wastes my time. i think a high self esteem is key for life in general.





this is me, in all my glory.

im 4' 11'' and 111 pounds at my last check. i love my body and the things i can do with it. i can run 3 miles right now and I'm not even in shape. i cheer, run cross country and track, and i kinda sorta want to be a cage fighter :P. i don't let anyone get me down, and even though i get crap constantly for my height, i don't let it get to me cuz i know that i am me and i love it and nobody can even try to change it.

what I've eaten today:

chips & salsa..................160 calories

turkey & provolone sammy..270 calories

mac & cheese.................150 calories

Dr. Pete soda...................35 calories

on-the-go applesauce..........60 calories

total............................675 calories

So come on, try me.

for tips on anorexia go to this site www.anorexiahelp.net its really good and it will help you get the help you need. i know a couple people who are/were anorexic and they're recovering, so theres hope!

This Has No Point.

i haven't actually decided what I'm going to write about. i just wanted to write. when i was seeing a shrink he suggested this "exercise" to me alot. it was the cure-all for him i guess. I'm still not sure what i was being cured of but he gave me tons of pills that tasted gross and were made of plants or something i dunno.

Rocky said that if you just sat and wrote then your true feelings would come out eventually. it might be hard at first but it will. i never actually did the writing thing, granted, i never did anything he told me to do. i don't know why. i just didn't see what was wrong with me but he obviously found something.

At one of our sessions i made the mistake of telling him i was afraid of spiders. biiiiig mistake. the next time i came in there was a fricken tarantula in one of those little glass cage things sitting on his desk. he took it out and let it crawl on the desk, he told me to pick it up and I'm pretty sure i peed my pants right then. thing is, i hate spiders, i really really REALLY don't like them. I'm not sure why but they just get to me. i mean what the hell crawls around and eats guts with 8 legs and 8 eyes??? just not natural.

but anyways, he hooked me up to this machine one time and did a whole ton of tests. he poked my fingers with this thing that supposedly told you what was wrong with me. you know what came out? a whole crap ton of nothing. yeah, it said there was depression and lack of calcium, but there was so many other things. my color was off (wtf?! i know right?) i guess it was yellow when it was supposed to be green or blue or something. i didn't know people had colors inside them. and i had a fricken parasite. gross!

so as I'm sitting here in our ugly green chair, looking over our spacious property of grass and tree(s) i haven't discovered my true feelings at all other than that i really don't like spiders. maybe theres a hidden message? "fear things you don't trust" something like that. cuz i don't trust spiders at all. just having 8 of something, anything, is sketchy to me.

Thanks Rocky. for accomplishing nothing.

oh well. shift happens (ha, what a pun. i saw that on a shirt, it had a keyboard and everything). but here's a song i just thought about this morning. i have no idea why. but enjoy!



Bitches Be Smitten

adj. the term used by black people to describe a girl who is in a bitchy mood.

i kno a girl who is smitten alllll the time. like really, does your life suck so much that you have to make other people's lives suck too?

i saw her yesterday, at her place of employment, bitching like always. it gets old sometimes. people just stop caring after a while.

she would be a really good friend if she wasnt so damn two faced all the time. she does kno how to have fun (maybe not clean fun, but fun) and hanging out with her was an interesting time, for sure.

but as the greatest man alive (and my husband) said.
"you can never know how, how things can turn around" 
my history teacher would be proud of me. sourcing! (btw. thats lil wayne for all you uneducated fellows.)

but that is it for now. im just a ranting bitch, i kno.

maybe im smitten.... :)

Legalize It

so.. I'm new to the whole "smoking up" thing. and before i started i was all into that DARE 'just say no' stuff. but once i started, i realized that its not that bad at all.

all it does is just put you in a chill mood. is there anything wrong with that?

now, i haven't seen it seriously affect anyone and i think its much safer than drinking, i mean if everyone smoked then the world would just be a chill place.

no fights, no wars, no drama. just happy.. all the time.

Age Differences

To some people, age difference might be a big deal. But what is it really? Is it just a number or is there more to it?

My guy is 21, and im still in high school. I kno a 16 year old that was dating a 24 year old. Is that wrong? It shouldnt really matter if you really like your significant other. But the funny thing is that when you reach a certain age (say, 18) then it doesn't matter how old your other half is. I think this is wrong.

So. He had a "talk" with me yesterday, said we needed to keep what we have on the down low. It kinda made me sad, but I understand where he's coming from. In prison 'child molestors' get beat up daily, it's just hell for them. And I don't want that for him. But I don't want anything to change.

So, the moral of the story is that age doesn't, shouldn't, make a difference when it comes to your dating interests. After all, it is just a number.

I Feel Like Dancing Tonight

Hello.

I'm new to this. So jut trying it out. All you need to kno about me right now is that I'm a senior. Gotta love high school. Can't wait till im done.

But, off to my job. More later. I promise!

(sorry if this sucks, it will get better I promise)