It's All Right

so. I've always had this guy on the side. like a just-in-case guy. as in just in case i have nobody else, hes always there. and I'm not really talking emotionally, more physically. but anyways. hes always really liked me.

lately, with all the stupid guy drama *NOTE - the guy i talk about in my "I Kissed A Boy And I Liked It" post, Logan, basically played me. not cool. when i found out i was livid. that was about two nights ago. and this HUGE party that was supposed to take place but didn't.* but anyways, with all this guy drama I've been talking to him and hanging out with him more and more.

hes not a bad guy, just some of the things he does annoys me. like hes a really tongue-y kisser and he sweats easily (its better than Logan who bit my fricken lip off, guys- that hurts! i like the biting but keep it to a minimum por favor.) but theres also some good things about him. he will basically buy me anything i want, hes rich (!!!), and he lets me do my own thing. like i know the definition of what I'm doing is playing him but hes okay with it.

but i think I'm kind of starting to have a thing for him, cuz before i talked to him just enough so he would stick around and we didn't really hang out alot either. but i don't know if its because I'm desperate (actually, that's not it, because I'm never desperate cuz theres always someone out there!) or if I'm actually starting to like him. oh well, if everything was easy it would be called your mom.

I'm sorry. that was offensive. i take it back.

so to make things easier we will call him Connecticut. hes 19 (Legal!! bonus.) and in college with a high paying job. the only set back is that he gets in trouble for smokin that sweet, great green. and he cant drive until September. but once he starts again I'm sure he will have a nice car :)

i know, i know. last time i dated a rich guy things turned out badly. but i don't think they will happen this time cuz he is so obsessed with me that he will literally do anything for me.

I Love Being Me :)

Drama

People who engage in "drama" will usually attempt to drag other people into their dramatic state, as a way of gaining attention or making their own lives more exciting.

Common warning signs/ risk factors of drama or a dramatic person are:

1. Having one supposedly serious problem after another.

2. Constantly telling other people about one's problems.

3. Extreme emotionality or frequently shifting, intense emotions.

4. Claiming to have experienced negative events that are highly implausible.

5. A boring job or mundane life.

6. Making claims without sufficient evidence or a lack of detail about supposedly serious events.

7. A pattern of irrational behavior and reactions to everyday problems.

(thank you, www.urbandictionary.com for understanding the life of young adults)

So lately, there has been a lot of drama in my life. and school hasnt even started yet. its depressing because im sure ill get enough of it during school. i dont need it on my vacation..

well me and Joe (the 21 year old) got into a huge fight last night. im talking about all out screaming and name calling and accusing and all that shit. all this took place in my car. with his/my friend in the back half the time. I'm sorrry anthony :/.

it was about me talking to other guys. of course. cuz i fuck every single guy i talk to. i had to clear all my guy friends with him. i didnt talk to any of my ex's or past things. i didnt even accept friend requests from guys. i sacrificed so much for him. some of my friends dont even talk to me anymore because of him. just fuck that. because ive learned that guys arent even worth your time. theyre only good for a while and after that theyre usless and a source of drama.

but i have to get off before i break this keyboard.

I'm so pissed.

I Kissed A Boy And I Liked It

soo. last night i had a visitor :) hes just great. like hes basically my dream guy. Ive been crushing on him for like ever! but the problem is that I'm always with somebody.

like right now. technically i have a boyfriend thing (the 21 year old) but at the same time I'm single. it doesn't make sense to me either. but i want to distance myself from this guy but hes kind of protective and to be honest i don't really trust him completely at all. and when i don't trust them i mess around :/. I'm not a very good girlfriend....

but this guy. hes a wrestler, fighter, hard worker, hes solid :), likes to get close, likes to joke around, not a prude, a farm boy but not a hick, and hes just amazing :). and he just happened to kiss me last night! and hes a good kisser. extra plus!

i always said that i wouldn't have a boyfriend senior year... but that's hard for me because i always have a boyfriend. i think the longest I've been totally single was like 2 weeks. and its not like i haven't tried or anything. and don't think I'm like bragging or anything, I'm just saying.

but since this is the guy I've wanted forever..

I just might make an exception :)

The Real World

so.. as summer is coming to a close (which sucks btw) then it will be back to the real world. seeing those people you cant stand every day doesnt sound very attractive to me. and all the homework. it sucks. i am guaranteed with a ton of homework.

and, this is a post where i dont really have anything to say, just sort of babbling on.

well i guess i do have something to talk about. so i was kinda sorta dating this guy. we were together but never really established any labels. they were just kinda there. he was so great and amazing and 3 and a half years older. the legal limit in this stupid state is 3 years. even though i dont get why cuz we were perfectly fine.

but anyways, he had a talk with me and we split up. but i went on a road trip with him and some friends yesterday, i was planning on giving him his space and not like crowding him ya kno? so i sat in back with his/my two friends and i guess i "flirted" with one of them constantly. i dont kno since when talking has became flirting but whatever i guess.

but he was talking to me last night about how one of my friends worries him. then he goes on about how im single and i can do whatever i want. but then he continues to say that i flirted with his friend and it seemed kind of sketchy. then of course he went back to saying i was single. then he has to go for some reason and hes just like "ill see you tomorrow"
"uhh what?" i asked him
"my grandma is coming to town around 2 if you want to meet her"
"what will i be doing the whole time your with her? just chillin with your friends and mom?"
"no, you can come with, im sure she will be fine with that"
"oh, okey then i guess"
"ok. ill see you later then"
so obviously im not totally single if i cant talk to other guys and am going to visit/meet his grandma.

this does make me feel better though cuz i really liked him :)

Friend zone? Never :)

Age Differences

To some people, age difference might be a big deal. But what is it really? Is it just a number or is there more to it?

My guy is 21, and im still in high school. I kno a 16 year old that was dating a 24 year old. Is that wrong? It shouldnt really matter if you really like your significant other. But the funny thing is that when you reach a certain age (say, 18) then it doesn't matter how old your other half is. I think this is wrong.

So. He had a "talk" with me yesterday, said we needed to keep what we have on the down low. It kinda made me sad, but I understand where he's coming from. In prison 'child molestors' get beat up daily, it's just hell for them. And I don't want that for him. But I don't want anything to change.

So, the moral of the story is that age doesn't, shouldn't, make a difference when it comes to your dating interests. After all, it is just a number.